How Long Should You Talk To Someone Before Dating?
How long does the talking stage last? This question seems so simple, but the exact, 100% right answer or a hard and fast rule just doesn’t exist. Still, there are the signs that can help you understand if it’s time to make things official and start including your partner in your future plans. Check this article to never worry about awkward and confusing talking stages in your relationship.
Talking vs dating: How long does it take to get to know someone to start dating?
It depends on a few things, namely, how you met each other, online or offline, how often you interact with each other, and how well you know each other overall.
So, the good news is there is a particular period—most psychologists recommend starting dating 2 months after you first met. However, it takes more or less time for you personally. In particular, if you’ve been talking a lot during the first few weeks, if you know definitely that you’re on the same page with somebody, and if you’ve already met a few times face to face and both had a great experience, the month is enough for your couple.
However, if you don’t know much about the person, their life goals, parents, favorite food, and if you still don’t feel comfortable meeting in real life, give yourself just a bit more time to realize if you really want this person to be a part of your life or not. After all, the desire to make a relationship official is the most important factor, and a good way to understand whether you really need it or not is just to ask yourself, ‘What if my friends ask me if I like them, what will I say?’
If you’re 100% sure you do and just don’t know if your partner enjoys spending time with you as much as you enjoy spending time with them, just hear what they want to say to you, verbally or nonverbally. Pay attention to the body language, gestures, the desire or excuses to meet you, and things they say casually (sometimes just phrases like ‘At that time I wasn’t ready to exclusivity talk with her because I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, you know, it’s hard for me to start it’ are the hints).
When should you define the relationship?
So, the approximate term is 2 months which can turn into 1 or 6 months—whatever works for you personally. But when to have the relationship talk? When exactly it’s supposed to happen? So, here are some good conditions for those who’re casually dating and just hope to take a relationship to a new level:
- You realize that you’d rather stop meeting your partner for good than suffer from uncertainties and want to clarify everything for both of you
- None of you is now stressed out, and it’s a good time for both of you to talk about your plans together, exclusivity, future, etc.
- Your partner really makes some effort to go on a date with you, shows that they care, and responds to your messages (yes, you definitely need a good sign but don’t wait for something extraordinary to happen—if they’re interested, you’ll notice it one way or another)
How long do you date before becoming boyfriend/girlfriend? There is no single answer to this curious question, but most couples decide on it right after talking about their feelings.
Of course, you can wait for the signs, trying to remember how many dates you had after quitting dating apps and understand if it counts as enough to call someone your partner, maybe look for statistics or investigations on how long should you date before calling someone your boyfriend or girlfriend, but the answer is still the same—relationships start when you define them.
Sometimes, our fears make us change our plans. Some people think that relationships won’t end or get worse if you don’t define relationships. That’s not the best approach—here’s why you don’t need to miss that helpful conversation:
- If you don’t communicate about it, there’s a chance you see your relationship as two completely different ideas: exclusive and non—exclusive, casual and serious, friends with benefits, etc.
- Jealousy may become a problem, and you also may find yourself in that awkward situation where you accidentally find out your partner is dating or having sex with someone else
- There’s no deep emotional connection and intimacy without honesty
- If you’re not talking about your boundaries and rules, you’ll definitely violate them one day, and that will be a painful experience for one or both of you
Let alone gut feeling—sometimes, relying on your intuition and nothing is the wrong strategy while having an honest conversation is the best idea.
What does talking mean in a relationship? It’s pretty much everything, especially if your goal is to have a committed relationship, an exclusive relationship, and build an emotional connection with a person instead of just having hookups. How long should you talk to someone before dating? In most cases, the best thing you can do for yourself and another person is to notice and listen to yourself and your partner—we always know the answers deep inside and always spot signs if we’re interested and attentive. When you feel it’s time to make things official, if you assume you’re on the same page (or if you realize you’d rather finish it than suffer more in the future), go ahead!